How to Choose a Senior Community That Feels Like Home

Krista Frauenholtz
Jul 20
4 min read

Updated: Aug 10

By Krista Frauenholtz | Realtor & Senior Transitions Specialist

Because It’s More Than a Move — It’s a New Chapter

I’ve been in your shoes.

When it’s time for your parent to leave the home they’ve known for years—or when you, as a senior, are ready to downsize—the decision about where to go next can feel overwhelming.

Trust me, I get it. This isn’t just about packing boxes or picking a place; it’s about finding a new chapter, a place that feels like home again.

At Heirloom Senior Transitions, we’ve walked alongside many families who’ve been exactly where you are now. And I’ve learned that the best decisions don’t start with brochures or square footage. They start with heart. They start with what really matters to you and to your loved one.

Here’s a guide to help you through this big decision one step at a time.

1. Start With What Matters Most (to You or Your Parent)

When I helped my mom through this process, the first thing we asked ourselves was: What would make this feel like home?

It’s a simple question, but it’s so important.

For some, it’s a bright, sunny room with a private balcony. For others, it’s about the comfort of good meals, friendly neighbors, and the ability to have their favorite chair nearby.

Before you dive into budgets or amenities, start with what feels right:

Does your parent want more independence or would they prefer more support?
Is privacy important, or do they enjoy being part of a social community?
What brings them joy, comfort, and peace of mind?

Once you have clarity on these questions, you’ll be able to sift through the “flashy” options that don’t quite fit and focus on what really matters.

2. Visit in Person and Pay Attention to the Atmosphere

I know it’s tempting to get all your information online, but I cannot stress enough: nothing beats a visit in person.

A community may seem perfect on paper, but how does it feel when you walk in?

Here’s what to look for:

Watch how staff interact with residents. Are they rushed? Warm? Present?
Are residents smiling, chatting, and engaging, or does the place feel quiet and tense?
Is the environment clean and welcoming? Does it feel like home, or does it feel cold or chaotic?

Don’t be afraid to visit more than once, even unannounced. That’s when you’ll truly see how the community operates on a daily basis.

3. Ask About Levels of Care: Now and Later

At first, your parent might only need a little help. But what happens when those needs increase?

The best communities offer flexible care options that can adjust as your loved one’s needs change:

Independent Living
Assisted Living
Memory Care
Skilled Nursing Support

If your parent has a progressive condition (like Parkinson’s or early dementia), this is especially important. Ask the tough questions:

“What happens if care needs increase?”
“Will they need to move again as their needs change?”

Continuity matters. And so does peace of mind.

4. Try a Meal or Activity

If the community offers a chance to sit in on a meal or activity, take it. Meals are often the social heart of a community.

Here’s what to observe:

Does the food look fresh and appetizing?
Are residents interacting and enjoying their meals, or are they isolated and disengaged?
Do staff members know residents by name?
Is the atmosphere relaxed, or does it feel rushed?

The same goes for activities. Ask to observe a morning coffee hour or game group. This is where you’ll really get a sense of the culture and whether it aligns with your parent’s personality.

5. Consider Location & Proximity to Family

This may seem like a no-brainer, but it’s easy to overlook in the hustle of everything else. Being close to family means more visits, more connection, and a smoother transition.

Proximity is important for:

Visiting loved ones
Attending appointments
Being near familiar doctors, faith communities, and surroundings

You might find a “nicer” community in a neighboring town, but being grounded in familiar places can make a world of difference in your parent’s sense of security and comfort.

6. Trust Your Gut

Sometimes, it’s as simple as this: Listen to your gut.

“We just felt welcome the moment we walked in.” “Something didn’t feel right — we couldn’t explain it.”

You’ll remember the places that gave you a sense of peace. And those that didn’t.

Let the facts and amenities guide you, but let your instincts lead the way.

Bonus Tip: Don’t Wait for a Crisis

If there’s one thing I wish I’d known earlier, it’s this: Don’t wait until a crisis hits to start looking.

When there’s a hospital discharge or an unexpected fall, decisions become rushed, and choices are limited. Families end up feeling overwhelmed and uncertain.

That’s why I always encourage families to explore options before an emergency. Even if a move is still a year or two away, it’s best to give everyone time to think, tour, and emotionally prepare.

We’re Here to Help You — for Free

I know this process can feel daunting, but you don’t have to do it alone.

At Heirloom Senior Transitions, our Senior Living Placement service is available to you at no cost. Here’s how we can help:

We take the time to understand your parent’s needs, preferences, and goals
We find the best-fit communities in your area
We schedule and attend tours with you
We help walk you through contracts, pricing, and timelines
We’re here every step of the way, acting as your personal guide

The best part? The communities pay our fee, never you.

So, if you’re feeling overwhelmed by the options, or just ready to start exploring, we’d be honored to walk this path with you. You deserve peace of mind.

Ready to Start the Conversation?

There’s no pressure. Just honest answers, warm guidance, and the support your family deserves.